I’ve had this blog for forever, and I looked at it as a way to build a source of income online, but the truth is I don’t know what I’m doing, nor do I have the content ideas that would make it “blog worthy”. So instead, I’m going to just journal and maybe my inner thoughts, life, and adventures will inspire or help someone. And if not, maybe it’ll at least be entertaining.
Sometimes I feel like a burden and like a hypocrite. I want to talk to my friends and spend time with people but at the same time I’m so annoyed that at how long my in-laws are living with us and that they constantly have people over. Don’t get me wrong, I love my in-laws. They are sweet people and my mother-in-law always does the cooking while they stay with us long term. It’s helpful and sometimes overbearing. The problem is, I grew up very white and US American, whereas my husband is Honduran, so there are a lot of cultural differences, one including that his family shows up unannounced all the time. At least to me it feels unannounced because I am not told that people are coming over. I’m sure my MIL invites them over or tells them it’s okay.
It’s a lot though. I am introverted so I just like my home to be calm and peaceful. Then I feel like a hypocrite because when it is calm and peaceful, I want to talk to my friends. Then I feel like a burden to my friends because I feel like I complain all the time. Like today, I felt like a burden because I asked them how to get my daughter to stop trying to chew on cords. My one friend said to redirect but redirection doesn’t work often with my daughter. She get’s focused on one thing and then that becomes her new obsession. Like ADHD’s hyperfixation, but she’s one so it’s not ADHD.
So, here’s what it is. I feel like I constantly have a rebuttle for everything. It’s always “yea, but.” Like I asked my friends what toothbrush they used for their babies because my daughter is already starting to get plaque build up, and one of them sent a toothpaste. My first thought was if it was safe to swallow. Like duh. Of course it is, she gives it to her one-year-old, too.
Why is it so difficult to just be a normal person sometimes? Or am I a normal person and just overthinking my interactions and responses?
